As I’m sure you’re well aware, there are a few rules that apply to food shopping. For instance:
“Don’t go shopping when you’re hungry.”
And the point of that is, if you’re hungry, you’ll buy anything you like the look of. And for me, that’s the contents of the entire meat section, and any frozen pizza without vegetables on them. And once you get home, you have one of the 30-odd pizzas you bought, and realise you only needed one. And what the hell are you going to do with that leg of ham? Once again, it’s a mild yet frustrating indication of the weakness of the human brain. The fact that a) we don’t realise it’s happening, and b) if we do realise, we still can’t beat it, makes me feel like beating my head against a wall made of angry Knights.
Last night, I was pretty well hung over. It wasn’t a serious SERIOUS day, but I still felt pretty crappy and had only 5 or 6 hours sleep. I literally fell asleep at the desk for a bit. Bad form. On my way home from work, I realised I needed some dinner, and, well, fucked if I was going to have something healthy. You know the feeling; you just want to fall into a vat of fish and chips and sleep. This, I found, was also a bad time to go shopping for food.
You see, all you need when you’re hung over is comfort food. Something with ‘substance’, something with a huge fat content and something with lots of [bad?] taste because your taste buds took quite a thrashing from the beer the night before. The list in a typical supermarket for this type of food is long and comprehensive. So many things look so good when you’re hung over! The basket quickly fills up and you realise, only once you get home, you really didn’t need it.
Moral? Don’t shop at the supermarket for dinner when you’re hung-over.
Solution? Takeaways.
One thing I did notice when I got home with my trolley of bacon and eggs was that I had paid for the food, and not actually realised how much I had spent. I didn’t even check the amount. I could’ve been charged 70 pounds for the packing bags and would’ve happily walked out and gone home.
There’s two different reasons for why this could have happened happened. The first was that I was absolutely exhausted. I was well hung-over, with half the hours of sleep I need to maintain 100% power. And the second? Well! Since you ask, for the last couple of weeks, I’ve been doing this ‘diet’ thing. I don’t know much about it, but it seems to me a ‘diet’ is just a way to be miserable. Basically, if you want to be on a diet, stop doing anything you enjoy, and replace it with painfully mundane things, like eating dust. “Eat dust, and the weight will just fall away”, they say. I don’t know who “they” are, but I want to beat them. With a stick made of death.
Anyway, my strict diet of ‘dust’ has resulted in something I’ve never experienced in my life before, and that’s a positive bank balance. I’ve never had one before. Never. In fact, it’s so alien to me, I want to do anything I can to get it back into negatives – like take a woman shopping – so I’d be more comfortable again. It may seem normal to you, but I’m not quite sure what to do. My friends that mock me for the last week of every month when I’m totally skint won’t have anything left to hassle me about. Scrap that, there’s lots of stuff to give me shit about.
Anyway, the point. Ever since I was about 4 years old and got my first 5c, I’ve been worried about how much I have left to spend. Whenever I’m paying for something, I stand at the cashier, nervously, praying to god my card won’t be rejected. And I pray again, because I know I don’t have another card to cover it with. It’s an uncomfortable time. But this time, I knew, subconsciously I had some spare cash. I must have known that no matter how much the amount came to, I wouldn’t be struggling to make the end of the month. And that’s the other reason I didn’t bother checking how much I had to spend. It’s not a good thing though. It’s times like that people put an extra 100 pounds on your account without you noticing, and that’s not cool.
So there you have it. Shopping with hangovers and bank balances.
I don’t recommend it at all. |
Posted by Danson on the 11th 2009f Mar, 2009 at 12:32am. View their area without the other losers. |
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