Summer’s coming!

This last week has been a shitter. I’ve been under the weather a little bit, but today, right now, my fav. DJ Bevan Keys (from Nice ‘n’ Urlich, and Key to the Groove) is mixing up some awesome beats, the sun is shining (albeit not for very long given Auckland skys) and the feeling of summer is in the air. I got up this morning at just before 6am *yawn* and pumped some iron. Daylight saving hits soon, and the summer is going to be hot. Keys is playing tonight in a big club, two parties tomorrow night. It's all on.

It’s about time I got off my ass and did something. Same with you.

Reunion _THIS_!

Ok, over the past couple of weeks there have been a few competitions to win some stuff from a few companies with more dollars than sense. Lately, for at least two of these competitions, if you buy their stuff, and put your name in a draw, you can win…wait for it…a family reunion.

“Buy [enter boring consumable here] and go in the draw to win a $15,000 family reunion!”

Don’t get me wrong, my family is sweet, but who on earth would spend $15,000 on a family reunion??? Fuck, I can think of a 1000 better things to do with $15,000. What’s funnier is that some dumbass company paid some dumbass strategist to come up with an idea that would probably put people OFF purchasing their product. If they’d just offered $15,000 cash, and left family out of it, they’d be heaps better off.

Thinking logically, if any of my family lived overseas, it’d cost me a shitload more than $15,000 to get them over here to see me. If they DIDN’T live overseas, I’d see them all anyway. Just a thought.

Just give me the cash, dammit!

Shit-Town

Given my post yesterday, where I make it clear that Maori and Pacific Islands spend more time than anything else listening to boring R’n’B music and wasting money on texting people, I was a little concerned. You see, those types of people tend to beat the crap out of someone, and THEN ask questions. Actually, come to think of it, they don’t usually ask questions. They just beat the crap out of people. Mostly, I think, because they think it keeps their “Mana” (pride) intact. Don’t ask me to explain the logic of that one.

Anyway, I do my fair share of hackin’ on them, which makes me a little nervous for my wellbeing. That was, until I saw on TV there is a show called “Bro Town”, which does all the hacking for me. It’s wonderful! I’ve never seen an episode however, but the adverts on TV make it clear. The show is about 5 Maori/Pacific Islander teenagers growing up in Auckland City. Well, actually, it’s not about that. It’s about mocking different races and cultures, including themselves which I find interesting.

My problem with the show is it showcases the narrow-mindedness of the coloured people in our country. All they do is complain about how they get a raw deal in life, and call everyone racist when we argue that they shouldn’t be given money and land for nothing. It’s their main argument, that is. Racism. And fair enough if it were true. But these days if you look at someone wrong, you get your head nipped off by some extremist trying to get themselves heard. Bah, all that gets to me is their hypocritical double standards. We can’t treat them the way we treat ourselves (the whole one-Kiwi thing), but they can have a TV show that depicts them as dumbasses?

Dumbasses.

I’m dead. AGAIN.

Idols are boring

Speaking of phenomena, ever wondered why most of the idols selected in the idol shows are male? Isn’t that interesting, considering most of the successful young singers are female? Well, _I_ thought it was interesting, and had a thought about it. Having lived with someone who loves to see those reality singing shows, it seemed the answer was right there in front of me: only females enjoy watching that stuff, and therefore it’s mostly females that vote. And I’ll be damned if the girls don’t always vote for the guys.

Especially in our country, this type of bias is even more evident. Our indigenous people of country tend to like music a bit more than the rest of us (our most popular radio station is one of the only mainstream mainly black radio stations), and would probably watch our Idol show a bit more readily than others; not to mention money-wasting habits like voting via. text message or toll calling. True to form, even though Maori and Pacific Islanders make up a fraction of our countries peoples, the top Idol 10 are usually dominated by them.

Sure, they may be better singers, but lets be honest, white people tend to vote white, and black vote black. It’s just the nature of the beast. So if you’ve ever wondered “who watches this shit?”, there’s your answer. Female Maori and Pacific Islanders.

I’m dead.

Calvin

I was reading my brothers blog today. One of his more recent posts was a small discussion about how time seems to go much faster now than it seemed to go when you were a kid. It’s true, really. I read comments from many people about why it happens, and I had a think myself and thought, shit, I can’t remember what I did when I was a kid. No wonder I look back and think time went so fast. Anyway, we all know it happens, and no-one knows why. Luckily for us, scientists are spending their time making increasingly absorbent paper towels than figuring out the stuff that really matters.

Anyway, I didn’t write this post to steal ideas from by brother. Actually, his post reminded me (intentionally) of a pastime that seems to have gone the same way as my childhood memories. The past time of reading Calvin and Hobbes.

Calvin and Hobbes was a cartoon written by Bill Watterson (now retired) about a 6 year old kid called Calvin and his soft-toy, Hobbes. Now, this may sound a bit weird actually, but you really have to read some of the stuff before you judge. What I liked about the comics is the subtle mix of adult humour. In fact, I don’t think there is anything BUT adult humour in the books. I remember when I first started reading them I didn’t understand half of the jokes or the one-liners, but picked them up one by one as I re-read them. Anyway, I loved reading about the upcoming Christmases and the things that kids are supposed to enjoy in their childhood. It was a wonderful depiction of a boy’s life with his best friend.

Come to think of it, now I remember. I spent my childhood reading books. Man, time went fast.


UPDATE:
I was reading some of the reviews on Amazon for Calvin and Hobbes, and with the exception of about 1 review per book, all the reviews were 5 stars. Calvin and Hobbes is awesome.

Fat and slim music videos

We went out for a few drinks last night, and I dropped a couple of friends off at their apartment where we sat around and had a nice relaxed chat about stuff. The flatmates there are all from Europe, and are all smart, nice and funny, so in themselves hold the makings of a good time. On the box – prefixed with boring repeats of boring Jackass shows – were the top 10 Fatboy Slim music videos. Now, for someone like me who is easily distracted, they proved very difficult to ignore, which leads me to the reason for this post: I hate music videos. They provide upcoming boring directors, producers and writers to do weird and wacky things, designed to make their projects stand out from others. The problem is that music companies don’t have to invest millions like movie companies do for a movie, and therefore the standard is much lower, and the writers/directors can push the limit (if they feel so inclined). I find this strange, considering a movie is just a movie, but a music video has to compliment another piece of art, and therefore should be well planned out and of exceptional quality if it wants to do its partner justice.

Don’t get me wrong. There have been some pretty great music videos since the TV has been around, but I’m afraid the majority, if not all but a small few, are just plain shit. Take ANY “R’n’B” song, which without doubt will have a bunch of black people – chics in skanky short skirts and “bros” in hooded jackets or singlets sporting more gold than the Sultan of Brunei has ever dreamed of – dancing some gay fucking dance that tryhards do at R’n’B clubs. And what’s worse, is only black people and 18 year old white boys who want to be black watch those shows, and so R’n’B is all they play on music video programs. I forgot: each one of those movies also has a Hummer in it. Every time. Don’t ask me why.

Anyway, my point was, I was thoroughly impressed by the variation and quality of the Fatboy Slim movies that we watched. They were all done so well, and they all worked perfectly with the tracks they were dropped in with. All of us, in between breaths and sentences were gagging at the TV watching people lose control of their bodies while they listened to a FS track, or getting a lesson on what happens if you’re too racist, or my favourite, a bunch of kittens going to a FS concert (which you can see here).

In short, don’t watch music videos unless it’s a Fatboy Slim one. I don’t know why I just said that.

there _IS_ hope

11pm. Working on one of my 4000 personal projects that I can't seem to get off the ground. A whale is stranded in central New Zealand, and everyone gets off their asses and starts doing something for each other, and for nature. It's a nice (and amazingly rare) occasion where you see humans actually caring about something like that. How do they find the time to do something nice inbetween beating people up and shafting their fellow man, I don't know.

Good on you, though. You're better than the rest of us. Take note, Bloggs.

argh!

Yeah I hate those guys too. It's like over in Australia some dude high on P stole some chic’s 4x4, and when she tried to stop him he ran her over. She ended up with permanent brain damage, and he got off because he claimed it was the influence of P that caused him to do what he did. I've never heard of doing something illegal getting you off doing something illegal, but welcome to our world!

I'm suprised so many people just don't care about what happens in the big wide world. I know someone who was beaten on the side of a road and had all her stuff stolen, knew the girls that did it, knew the girls had been pulled up 10 times previously for the same thing but didn't chase the case up to make sure they got the justice they deserved. Unfortunately at some point someone is going to have to get off their asses and complain when they see shit like that. I hate lazy people.

I wonder if all this talking I've been doing of late is because the election is coming up in 6 days. Vote National. Lose the Maori seats. Lower immigration. Less tax. Speaking of tax, the girl spotted an advert for the Alliance party which is one of those parties that we don't care about. In big letters at the top of the advert: "TAX THE RICH!" and their tax policy was included: First $10,000 tax free. Over $100,000 get taxed 54%. That's awesome! I love politics.

hey, come to NZ!

For all those people who want to come to our country, get to your local airport and come along! We encourage all people with anger problems and links to bombing/terrorist cells to move here because you're the type of people we want in the land of the long white cloud!

According to a news article I was watching tonight, there is a middle-eastern man just about to be accepted to police college until someone did a check on him and realised he has been picked up by the cops on 3 counts of domestic violence and is also "assumed to be part of the terrorist cell responsible for the Bali-bombing".

For all those people out there that think importing 100 people a day into our country "is a good idea", I hope you're making yourself a big fucking humble pie because when your kid gets killed by an import with a fake drivers licence or gets blown up while hanging out at the local pub, you'll need something to eat at the funeral.

Don't get me started on the asian gang member killed in downtown Auckland by another asian branding a gun. Where the hell would he get a gun? God I hate this country.

ewwwww. Update?

Do I have to? I just got back from a week snowboarding with the boys, and now I can't be bothered doing anything.

What's news where YOU are? Send a message. YOU write the posts.

I'm going to bed.